God’s Word for You

Song of Solomon 5:3-6 The reluctant wife

by Pastor Timothy Smith on Saturday, June 1, 2024

The Wife Speaks

3 I have taken off my robe,
why do I have to get dressed again?
I have washed my feet;
why do I have to get them dusty again?

So far, the wife has been so passionate and so adamant about her love. It seemed as if nothing could keep her away from her man. But now, for the most selfish of reasons, she isn’t in the mood. She might just be tired, or caught in the haziness of a half-sleep, but the truth is that she just doesn’t feel like getting out of bed. Her man was too long in getting home, and now she has to get up, get dressed, and get her feet dirty again?

4 My lover thrust his hand through the hole in the door,
and my heart pounded for him.
5 I arose to open for my lover,
and my hands dripped with myrrh,
my fingers with flowing myrrh,
upon the handles of the door lock.

None of the words in these two verses was overtly sexual in the time of Solomon. We should be sure that we know what’s being talked about before we make any applications.

We see a similar ancient lock and key system described in Judges 3:25. Such locks were, to our thinking, exposed and lacking the outer housing that concealed their inner workings. A set of pegs, wooden or metal, had to be raised to the correct positions to unlock the mechanism. The key was simply a way to raise the pegs simultaneously to their positions; the handle of this key might be as large as a man’s hand. Hand and key were brought through a hole in a door to unlock it, since the lock was on the inside. This is the scene brought to our ears by verse 4, but a sexual undertone can be detected. The man made a romantic overture to his wife and she was not ready for him or did not want to make love. But then she changed her mind. Quickly the poem returns to the physical door of their bedchamber, and there is myrrh, liquid myrrh, involved, its spicy scent easily imaginable to the listener.

In the People’s Bible commentary, Elke says that there was an ancient tradition of a lover or husband leaving myrrh on the door handle of his wife’s room or of their house. There are some ancient Near Eastern texts that mention this (at least with precious oil if not myrrh), but the reason is uncertain; it may be that the lover leaves behind the scented oil to show that he was there and is thinking of her. Perhaps it is akin to the modern practice of giving flowers. A point we should remember here is that the irksome modern habit of expressing sexual things aloud for everyone to hear was not the practice in ancient times, and that what a modern reader might think is overtly sexual is in fact rather mundane. A Bible reader should always be careful not to overlay their life’s context on top of the Scripture and insist that the Spirit must be saying this or that. Such is the interpretation of ignorance.

The spiritual significance of the reluctant wife is clearly portrayed by many people throughout the pages of the Bible. The kings of Israel and sometimes wicked kings of Judah turned away from God like the reluctant wife in this verse. Jehoram “walked in the ways of the kings of Israel” (this was not a compliment) and did evil in the eyes of the Lord” (2 Chronicles 21:6). The prophet Elijah wrote him a letter threatening him with a terrible disease if he would not repent. The king refused “and died in great pain… to no one’s regret” (2 Chronicles 21:19,20). God knocked on that king’s door, but the king would not open. In this setting, perhaps the myrrh represents regret on the part of the Lord (the husband) that the unwilling sinner will not turn back. The myrrh, therefore, becomes the tears and lament of the Lord for his unwilling people, as with Jesus’ cry: “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem! You that kill the prophets and stone those who are sent to you! How often have I longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing! Look! Your house is abandoned to you. I tell you, you shall not see me until the time comes when you say: ‘Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!’” (Luke 13:34-35). And Jesus proclaims to the seven churches of Revelation: “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock” (Revelation 3:20). The Lord’s knock should not be taken lightly.

6 I opened for my lover,
but my lover had turned away,
he was gone.
My soul went out when he went away.
I sought for him, but did not find him;
I called him, but he did not answer.

She opens the door, but she is too late. Her poetry is not joyful. “He had turned away. He was gone.” Jesus commanded his apostles: “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town” (Matthew 10:14). In marriage, this is the kind of setback that comes on account of an argument, a misunderstanding, a lack of patience, or some other error. Love and kind words, an apology, will overcome the trouble, as long as pride does not get in the way. Which, in marriage, is more important, the union of the couple, or the pride of one spouse or the other? The prophet says, “The pride of your heart has deceived you.” It is the union, the marriage, not the individual, that must win out. Here the wife has made a mistake, and the husband has turned away, but now she is finally opening the door, but where has he gone? She seeks, but she does not find. She calls, but he does not answer. Luther is brief and to the point: “Temptation is portrayed here; and it is added that God seems to abandon us to such evils, nor is any consolation offered to the weary mind.” The spouse in the wrong must swallow pride and apologize. The sinner in the wrong must turn away from sin and repent. True repentance means turning away from the sin, setting it aside, asking God to help avoid that temptation in the future, and then looking to Christ for the forgiveness he offers without fail. Then the words of Jesus offer us comfort: “He who seeks finds.”

You, O Lord, are our Maker and Redeemer.
You are the true pride of our nation.
Let your words linger in our hearts like myrrh,
Let their fragrance fill our lives like the scent of flowers.
Accept our repentance; do not throw us away in your anger.
Forgive us, for Jesus sake.

In Christ,
Pastor Timothy Smith

 

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